


tilt my world back on its axis

by EllaYuki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hope, Light Angst, Loki POV, M/M, Sakaar (Marvel), Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 07:06:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12882672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: when he lands on sakaar, loki tries not to let the loss of his father, of his brother, of his home, keep him from surviving and making his way up the social ladder. thor’s sudden reappearance weeks later, alive and mostly well, almost has him throw all his careful plans out the window without thought.





	tilt my world back on its axis

**Author's Note:**

> The lack of capital letters is INTENTIONAL. All fics written by me in 2017 are like that, so if that puts you off, I'm sorry and you are more than welcome to back out now. 
> 
> (AKA: Please STOP MENTIONING IT, it will NOT change. Thank you.)

it’s almost a week before he finally has time to think about it.

for the first few days, he gets acquainted with the trash world he’s landed on, make sure to be in just the right places at just the right time, and to say just the right things to quickly make his way up the social ladder and then get into the grandmaster’s good graces. it’s easy enough, for all that the man is a suspicious egomaniac.

but then, once he’s secured his place, once he gets more or less comfortable and the adrenaline of survival mode has finally died down, he ends up with some free time on his hands. and free time on his hands means time for thoughts he would very much rather not dwell on.

but dwell on them he eventually does.

because his father is dead, and his brother is most likely also dead, and the sister neither of them ever knew they had was probably laying waste to his home.

he doesn’t want to think about it but he can’t help it. the thoughts, the guilt, the grief, they slither in in the quiet hours and wrap themselves around him until he can’t breathe, until he wishes for the quiet of the void.

there are nights (rare as they are on this planet of constant parties) when the only thing he can do is whisper prayers to the norns. that his father’s soul has reached mother in valhalla, that thor’s had as well, if hela has killed him like loki fears she has. for all that things have been as they have for the past few years, the very thought of thor being dead hurts something awful. it hurts as much as when he learned of mother’s passing.

(more, probably, if he’s being honest. which he is not.)

still, life moves on, and so he tries not to let the loss break him. (stronger things have tried.)

and so he carries on.

he smiles, he socializes, he plots and schemes and steals and charms, and plans for how he’ll one day take over.

he has no world to return to, no loved ones (his parents are gone, he hates remembering, his hateful, _beloved_ brother is gone gone _gone_ ), so he buries the slivers of what’s left of his frozen heart, and tries to find ways of making sakaar his. (as much as he abhors the place.)

~

weeks later and those buried slivers melt and blend and become something whole again the moment he hears a voice he never thought he would again, even in death.

thor is alive, and he is on sakaar, and he seems more or less unharmed and hell-bent on ruining loki’s carefully constructed image. the grandmaster, ever suspicious, catches on pretty quickly that there’s more than meets the eye with them and for all that loki tries to spin reassurances, he’s pretty sure that the seed of doubt has taken root and things are about to get more difficult for him.

still.

his brother is alive, and that alone makes breathing easier (and harder at the same time), makes his plans shift to fit him before loki even realizes it, makes a desire that he hasn’t felt in well over a decade (or is it a century? he can’t remember) rear its head anew.

(he only realizes it, all of it, when he’s entertaining the grandmaster after his brother was taken to the gladiators’ cells.

he realizes it when he loses himself into a daydream of him and thor overthrowing the grandmaster and ruling sakaar together. they can’t go back to asgard, if there’s even an asgard left, so why not take this world and make it their own? why _not_ rule together?)

~

he doesn’t know what to expect when he projects his image in his brother’s cell, but he certainly doesn’t expect to be met with cold indifference from thor.

it’s a first, in their long, long life, and it throws loki off balance and leaves him wishing he’d come down here in person so he could tear into his brother with his own hands until he stops looking at him like he does.

so he does what he does best, spits out words that (once would have) hurt, and retreats to readjust his plans.

because if thor is stubborn and has a death wish, more so than usual, and wants nothing to do with loki anymore… well, far be it for loki to get in his brother’s foolhardy way. let the fool do as he pleases. loki will manage on his own.

(he pushes away the disappointment and tries to tell himself that this is probably for the best. for the both of them.)

(it doesn’t mean he has to like it, though.)


End file.
